Lost Mind

Trying not to lose your mind is tough. Is it better to give in & lose it or hold on to what feels like nothing ? Speaking for myself, I think about losing it all often, what is there to hold on to ? As fast as time seems to move, when will the time come when I don’t need to feel the way I feel ? When can I let go & rise, rather than feel like letting go & never rising again ? Nowadays, it’s even worse to feel the way I & so many others feel. A man with mental complications. “You’ll be alright.“, “Toughen up !”, being told expressing wha on your is soft or that it doesn’t matter. Living everyday not trusting the world you wanted to love. When does it change ? Can it ? Will it ? You fight every day not only for yourself, but for everyone else in the sense that “If I don’t, they’re only going to speak negatively.” Just trying to be a person everyday. Only to find out when you try your best & you’re proud of yourself, the result is still the same; negative. Why put such a burden on yourself ? It doesn’t matter what they say, you don know those people. That’s just it, why treat people you don’t know so harshly ? Well, that’s just one side of the coin. What about those you do know, that treat you so badly ? The people you’d never expect to harm you in any way ? The people that you thought you could count on to be there ? That’s the worst side of it all. Believing in people. Trusting. It’s as if it only leads to pain. All you do is try. you try to keep it together, but that pain can become unbearable. It changes you. You contemplate on all the ways you could’ve did something different, but it just seems like all solutions are exhausted. When there’s nothing left, you turn to darkness. Darkness can be embracing, it can takeover. You can find darkness anywhere you look, it’s always there for you in every nook & crany. Darkness is everywhere, but deep down you want the light. That light that’s been ever so hard to find for so long. “Is it even possible ? “Can you shine again ?” I honestly don’t have the answer, though I wish I did. I really do. With all this darkness in my life, I still search for the light. I continue to fight through the shadows of pain & loneliness if life, but it gets difficult. I just want to shine again, I don’t want to fight anymore.